how on earth am I supposed to raise a child in this world?!

While the first few months of parenting will likely consist of feeding, changing diapers, and watching our little girl sleep, I've recently been pondering bigger questions such as "how can I keep her safe from negative influences?", "what can I do to help her avoid some of the pitfalls I experienced?", "how can we always be close?", and ultimately "how can I help her return to live with God someday?". These are big questions for a newborn, but probably ones many parents consider at some point. 

Looking back on my own growing up years, I can definitely recognize a lack of perspective and a bit of stubbornness in going my own way. The more time passes, the more I realize that truly the purpose in this life is to return to our Father and the only way to do that is by staying close to our Savior. There will come a time when I can no longer hold tightly to my little girl and I will need to let her learn certain things for herself. When I need to step back a bit, and if she ever gets too far to reach, He will always be able to watch out for her and touch her heart, but only if I stay close to Him. When all the advice and parenting manuals seem to give me no answers, He will help me know what to do.

Some ask, "how can you bring children into such a cruel world?" Because I have faith in Christ. I have faith that He will help me find the answers I need and more often the peace I need to feel, even when answers must wait. Also, because having children is one of the most vulnerable things one can do - and in that there may be the greatest source for hardship, but there will also be the greatest cause for joy. For those joyous moments, all will be worth it. 

Will parenting cause plenty of anxiety? I expect it. But I also expect that when I am distraught I will always be able to find peace. "Peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faith in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life's devastating trials and tragedies... because of the Savior's Atonement and His grace, righteous living will be rewarded with personal peace" (How to Find Real Peace by Quentin L. Cook). 

All that's left for me to do is live as best I can, trust in Him, and savor every precious moment He will allow me to have with my baby. 

resources: my first La Leche League meeting

As birth time draws near I've been more and more focused on postpartum prep (freezer meals, padcicles, stocking up on toiletries, etc.). One thing I'm trying to have in place is breastfeeding support - who to contact if things are off to a rough start. Luckily my doula also regularly teaches a breastfeeding class so she's probably qualified to help in the beginning, but what about later on?

A favorite book I've read recently is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding from La Leche League International. I loved this breastfeeding book because it was easy to read (didn't seem textbook, how-to, and dry) and so lovingly talked about how breastfeeding was not only a method of food intake, but a relationship between mother and child to help bond and steady the infant through different stages of development. This book also suggested finding a local La Leche League meetings where moms could get together to ask questions and share advice on all breastfeeding related topics. I thought this was a good idea, but didn't look too much into it.

It just so happened that someone shared an event for a local La Leche League meeting in a Facebook birth group I'm a part of. I was a bit hesitant since I wouldn't know anyone, but I figured why not, especially since I've heard it's easier to go with an infant if you've been while you were pregnant. Off I headed to see what this was all about.

This "meeting" was really more of a play group with a more focused topic of discussion amongst the moms. There were four other moms there, two "leaders", and plenty of small children running around. Everyone was super nice and friendly and it wasn't awkward at all. There was a planned topic to talk about, but we catered to the needs of each mom. Since I was there, all the other moms shared their best advice for starting to breastfeed. Another mom wanted advice on starting her almost 6 month old on solids and someone else asked for how to get her 4 year old to actually try and eat dinner - everyone who could offered suggestions on what worked for them and their kids. It was like when you google parenting advice, but this was more friendly, trustworthy, and with an in-person social aspect.

Overall I was rather pleased with the experience and decided I'll be coming back to another meeting with my little one. I now have the phone numbers of the leaders in case I need to call for breastfeeding problem solving and a place to go for my kid to play as I ask more experienced moms how on earth one cares for a young human. If nothing else, it's also another way to get involved and meet and make friends.

Take away: I would definitely encourage stepping outside your comfort zone and finding supportive people and resources for your current life situation, whatever that may be. For those for whom La Leche League may be relevant, come join me at the next meeting (held monthly) or find one in your own area!

maternity pictures

Taken at Clearwater Beach, Florida in mid February when I was 29-30 weeks. Thanks to my friend Alli Jackman for taking these for us - I love them all! Somehow I picked a top 12 to showcase. Enjoy!