i'm a first time mom and i'm not afraid of childbirth

The other day at lunch we (me and the teachers I work with) were talking about babies and pregnancy. I was asked how I was feeling about my pregnancy and I said great, just starting to panic a little bit about how we don't have many supplies yet (but that's what baby showers are for, right?). Someone else chimed in "what about the birth?!" indicating that that's what they would be most worried about. I simply stated I wasn't worried about that at all, to which I received plenty of "how?!" "why?!" and "well I am"! comments. I suppose that in all my reading of positive birth stories I had forgotten that most everyone else is still afraid of the pains of childbirth. But I'm not, even though this will be my first child. Here is why.

Fear conditioning
All around us, the world talks about the pains of childbirth; we grow up hearing birth horror stories and debates about whether it hurts more to give birth or get kicked in the testicles. Watch any movie or TV show and you'll see a woman lying on her back, screaming in agony, and begging for any and all pain medication (not representative of most births). Luckily, I haven't heard many birth horror stories in my life and have managed to steer clear of them since becoming pregnant, but give yourself a moment to think about how the notion of birth being a 10 on the pain scale might be due (at least in some degree) to our social conditioning.

What if natural birth was just that - natural

One day I realized that the term "natural birth" may be exactly that. Wouldn't it make sense if a woman's body was built to give birth? If you've ever watched an animal give birth, there's never much indication they are laboring, let alone in any kind of pain. They just lay there and then a baby slides out. Can't we have something similar? Conditions in which a woman's pelvis is too small or a baby is too big are actually extremely rare. There are plenty of woman who have given birth peacefully and naturally. Typically this occurs when they are in a relaxed setting with a care provider they trust, having prepared with a method of childbirth that allows them to relax and work/move through contractions. If you don't believe that this is possible, I have plenty of books and birth stories to share with evidence that proves this.

Preparation!
By this point I have read so many birth books that there will be few surprises during my birth experience. Of course, things could go differently than planned, but I've researched all the likely scenarios and their consequences. Perhaps most importantly, I have armed myself with the knowledge needed to create a birth plan and stand up for what I am and am not ok with. I've also read and a watched a lot of positive birth stories, because I feel like that's more helpful than scaring myself with traumatic births - since it doesn't have to be that way. Soon we will be starting our Hypnobabies class - a six week course that provides complete childbirth education, covering not only the birthing process but things like partner support, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc. It's a method that gives the mother the tools to feel her body work through the pressure sensations and even discomfort, without the pain. I have also recently hired a doula, or a birth coach, who will be with me every step of my labor, including coming to my home in earlier labor, to help me through what my husband and I have learned about but never experienced. Bottom line, I have done everything I can to get ready and I feel comforted in that.

Trusting your provider and the birth process

About halfway through my pregnancy I switched care providers: from an OB Dr and hospital birth setting to a midwife and birth center. Now I feel a lot more comfortable with my care provider and I KNOW for a fact that we are on the same page and she will support me in all my birth decisions. I know that I will be able to relax and give birth in a familiar, more home-like setting (the birth center). I know that birth experiences never go exactly as planned, but I trust my midwife completely to do what is best for me and the baby, without me having to fight off unnecessary interventions. I also trust my body to do what it was built to do. 

Birth is empowering
I have been amazed during pregnancy to witness my body's ability to create life. I love feeling the little kicks inside me and I can't wait to meet her. I look forward to being able to bring this babe into the world. Many have described birth as an empowering, even spiritual experience. I look forward to joining the many woman who have earned the title of mother. I recognize that there are many who birth with an epidural, induction, c-section, etc. for various reasons. I also know there are many who have in fact experienced pain during labor and/or a traumatic birth, those are very real. However, I have chosen to birth naturally and have prepared myself with people and tools to guide me through the birth process without unnecessary intervention or pain. I expect it to be a beautiful growth experience. While there may be people who think I'm crazy, naive, or try to persuade me otherwise, at this point I will kindly tune you out and you may see my birth story in a few months.


For anyone interested in more information on natural birth, Hypnobabies, how birth can be empowering etc., I'd be happy to answer questions or share any number of books, videos, and blogs I've read! For starters, here is the calmest birth I've ever seen (no graphic details). It's actually pretty boring, since it's a calm birth, so feel free to skip through to the moment the baby is born.