Today wasn’t necessarily a hard day. Naps were ok, we saw friends at playgroup, we went on a walk. And yet as I lay here reflecting on what we did, I miss the old me. I miss the me that got to stay up and go out. I miss the me that could eat a peaceful meal and go the bathroom by herself. I miss the me that thought about me.
I recognize there are times and seasons for every stage of life and this is one where it's more about the littles, but that doesn't mean accepting it is always easy. Most of the time I can, but then there are days like today where I remember how it was so EASY to only worry about myself. How simple life would be if I could fill my days with hobbies, evenings with tv shows, and maybe even actually get household chores done consistently. And yet, how unfulfilling is that compared to what I do now.
Brene Brown tells us that if we shy away from things that are uncomfortable and uncertain, we limit ourselves. It is by leaning into vulnerability that we experience the full, broad range of emotions, including great joy. Parenting can be hard, but what joy there is in have a little person who loves you wholeheartedly. To know you are responsible for helping them to grow and flourish. The excited breathing and big gummy grin my girl gets when she sees me warms my heart so much!
But not today. Today I am just forlorn. And that is ok. Feelings pass and it's ok to feel sad, or angry, or upset. Today I will sit in and lean into my discomfort, knowing that perhaps a greater feeling of joy is around the corner. One day I will have more time for myself and I will miss the little snuggles and gummy grins. There are times and seasons for all feelings.
Brene Brown tells us that if we shy away from things that are uncomfortable and uncertain, we limit ourselves. It is by leaning into vulnerability that we experience the full, broad range of emotions, including great joy. Parenting can be hard, but what joy there is in have a little person who loves you wholeheartedly. To know you are responsible for helping them to grow and flourish. The excited breathing and big gummy grin my girl gets when she sees me warms my heart so much!
But not today. Today I am just forlorn. And that is ok. Feelings pass and it's ok to feel sad, or angry, or upset. Today I will sit in and lean into my discomfort, knowing that perhaps a greater feeling of joy is around the corner. One day I will have more time for myself and I will miss the little snuggles and gummy grins. There are times and seasons for all feelings.
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