I'm finally enjoying being a mom

Let me just say(write) it out loud: NEWBORNS ARE HARD. Sure, the first little while they sleep all day long and you can go anywhere with them in your carrier while they ignore the world, but then they wake up to their surroundings and don't know how to cope. 

For us (and Lyla), month two was the hardest. Suddenly she didn't go to sleep easily and I became housebound while I spent most of my day trying to get her to sleep, essentially by putting on a circus show of things. My arms and back ached from bouncing her and holding her for every nap and my soul felt like the weight of new motherhood had been suddenly dropped on my shoulders. Evenings were spent with a couple hours of crying/screaming till she was so exhausted she fell asleep. These were the days I cried the most, felt alone, and wondered if it would ever end. People said it would get better, but honestly I didn't know how I could believe them. 

Then we hit three months and she turned into more of a cute little human child and less of a crying fussy mess I had to endure. Now she could be awake for almost an hr! Now she would take 15-20mins to fall asleep instead of an hour! Now we could start to think about leaving the house and seeing other humans! Now she started rolling, singing, and playing with toys! 

Momming will never be easy, but no longer do I stare at the window praying for the day to end. We enjoy going on little errands together, rolling around on her play mat, and sitting outside watching the traffic go by. I still don't do much in the way of housework, and hobbies won't happen anytime soon, but I feel like I can breathe again. I feel a little bit more like myself (also helps that I'm no longer the bloated dairy cow I was after giving birth). I've always enjoyed my baby girl, but now I'm enjoying the day with her too. 

I used to glare at anyone who said it, but it does get better. It's ok if the newborn days weigh you down to your breaking point, like they did to me. It's ok if you just cry at everyones' advice because you know your baby better and right now it might just be hard no matter what. Cling to any source of hope and help you can. This too shall pass, I promise.