an argument for attachment parenting

It turns out I've been practicing something called "attachment parenting" without even knowing it. Attachment parenting is not necessarily a method to follow, but rather a philosophy that guides how you parent your child. The idea is that you listen to and get to know your baby and let that knowledge guide how you respond. Instead of enforcing an arbitrary schedule, you follow cues and let baby take the lead. Building trust and love now with a young baby leads to easier to navigate parenting in the future.  As Dr Sears says it "You give a lot of yourself to your baby - your time, your energy, your commitment. But you get back a lot more in return. Parenting is like investing in an IRA. The more you put in your child in the early ears, the greater the later returns. If you work hard at the beginning, later on you can relax more and enjoy the fruits of your labors" (The Attachment Parenting Book).

But what about spoiling your baby or teaching them to be independent? What about having a feeding schedule or sleep training? Think of attachment parenting as the style many parents used instinctually, before all the baby trainers and sleep consultants started telling us we had no idea what we were doing (which we might not have, but we certainly knew our children's needs better than they did). While there are things you can do to encourage good habits and routines, for the most part independence will come with time, sleep is largely developmental, and you can't spoil a baby with too much love. Trust your baby, trust your instincts, and get support from friends and family who understand.

How do you implement attachment parenting? Taken from The Attachment Parenting Book by Dr. Sears, here are the "Baby B's" to follow. You may do as many (or as few) as you are willing and able. 

• Birth bonding: start early getting to know your baby! Skin to skin and limiting visitors in the early days help promote attachment when the instinct for mother and child to be close is strong. 
• Breastfeeding: This helps you get to know your baby as you learn to read her cues and body language. It also releases oxytocin which promotes bonding. 
• Baby wearing: Babies like to be near you and see what you're doing. Wearing your child means they are close, which leads to increased familiarity and attachment. Babies who are worn a lot fuss less than babies who are put down most of the day. 
• Bedding close to baby: Parenting doesn't stop at night. Whether you are  in the same room, co-sleeping, or bedsharing, being close can help baby sleep better, regulate their breathing, and teach them that nighttime isn't scary. 
• Belief in your baby's cry: A baby cries to communicate. Responding quickly and sensitively helps build trust. The parent-child bond grows as baby's learn to trust that their caregiver will respond and parents learn to trust their ability to respond to baby. Babies do not cry to manipulate you. 
• Beware of baby trainers: Be wary of those who tell you to watch the clock or a rigid schedule instead of your baby (I'm looking at you Cry It Out...). Such methods may "work" but it is a short term gain with a long term loss and ultimately distances you from becoming the expert on your child. 
• Balance and Boundaries: Babies need functional parents most of all so it is important to learn when you need say yes to baby and when you need to say yes to yourself and take a break.

Ultimately, it is up to you to parent as you see fit and to cater to each childs' needs, but above all, love and respect your children. They need you.